Squeaky clean

I am cleaning Helena’s apartment. Instead of chanting wax on, wax off, as I wipe, I recant Forgive Mitfan, Free yourself, Forgive Mitfan, Free yourself. I can do this forgiving thing. I never have to see him again.

Helena is great. She buzzes me in and leaves me to do what I want. Cleaning products are arranged in the hallway of her building, and I see myself out as long as I lock the door. This time however, things were not so smooth. For some reason every time I go to Helena’s building, I have to use the bathroom. Maybe it’s because it’s 10am, maybe because of the bending and squatting I do cleaning her railing rusty jagged annoying square knobs. Whatever it is, I usually end up going down to the basement, where her sister in law lives, to do my business. I feel more comfortable because she’s elderly and Italian and I think I am getting away with something, and I am scared to ask to use Helena’s bathroom. Still it’s kind of embarrassing that I’m there to clean and I take this ritual bathroom break, so this time I lie to the little old Italian sister in law and say I just have to rinse these rags. She says sure, but use this bathroom, someone’s in the other. It’s a smaller bathroom and I give it a test flush to make sure it works and then I go at it. What happened next is described best in my g-chat with a fellow unemployed friend, Neve (“ncintolini”). She’s studying to be a nurse and we have a common interest in poop:

“me: um i clogged a ladys toliet whos house i clean today (4:32 PM)
ncintolini: hahahah
me: i think she might fire me
ncintolini: thats really funny. maybe you should have saved the poop for me to assess (4:33 PM)
me: ASSess (4:34 PM)
oh my god but you should have seen the ladies little granny italian mother in law trying to plunge it
like i flooded their place for reals
ncintolini: nicoles you should have plunged that shit!
youre the cleaning lady!
me: dude A) I couldn't locate a plunger. B) I didnt know the toliet was BROKEN
already
so it just flooded everywhere
seriously, I came to clean and ended up flooding thier house in my shitwater
ncintolini: hahaha LOL!
i guess youre nto cut out to be a cleaning girl (4:38 PM)”
Six minutes after talking to Neve it hits me, I’m not too good for this job. I’m not good enough! White cleaning lady who thinks she can go in to people’s houses, break their things, barely clean, barely get paid, clog their toilets, cause more trouble in the long run. I am not a good cleaning lady at all.